Please don't pray away my Disability

Every Sunday, when we get to church and settle into our spot in the pew, we find ourselves listening to a message about being made whole through faith. In our tradition, Jesus, a man on Earth, died for us so one day we could go to heaven. Yet, when

people hear I am sick, it causes them to stop and change course. What often occurs is that people want to pray for me, well for my “sickness” to go away. These prayers are the type of prayers that have left many who are ill to leave the church or, if not, then hurt that person with the silence from the church because no one knows what to say. People are confused at why some of my peers don’t want to be connected to the faith, and some don’t understand how the church has hurt people with disabilities. However, there is one simple thing we can do, and that is to stop praying away someone’s disability.

Why? If we are made whole through our faith, and that is direct from our faith, then when you hear about someone having a disability, going up to them and praying for them to be cured takes away who they are as a person and the way God made them in his image. Often when someone gets to this point with the church, there is a reason outlined and it often goes like this: In the bible, Jesus laid his hands on people and healed them, and specifically highlighted is the woman who no one wanted to be near and the child who everyone thought had died. There are two things to understand here: 1) You are not Jesus; also 2) I haven’t given you permission.

This leads us to that uncomfortable space. Our faith is easiest when times are easy for us, the prayers feel less challenging, and having faith feels less of a stretch. However, it is in the moments where it feels as small as a mustard seed that having faith is important. My faith is constantly challenged, with every doctor's appointment, with every death of a friend, with every anniversary that comes around that is the reminder. I do not remember an easy time for me in my life, that is my reality and it doesn’t make me less whole.

Often when we can get this far into the uncomfortable space, people fall back on the words “God has a plan for us all.” It is not just a simple answer to tell me that God has a plan for my illness, but the fact that illness that defines my life leads to something deeper than a simple answer can cover. If you want to do something for the person in your congregation that is chronically ill, show up authentically in their life, be present, make sure the Sunday school classes are accessible to them as well as activities with the congregation, and that this space of faith has their needs met.

Now, a seasoned churchgoer will notice that having needs met includes prayer. So what can you pray for when it comes to myself and other disabled folks. This isn’t an easy conversation, but it comes down to humanizing people with disabilities and people who are ill. If you still don’t know, I’ll leave you with this list:

• Pray for comfort

• Pray for the treatments to help relieve pain or symptoms.

• Pray that I feel up to going to something important to me and that accommodations will be met

• If I am going into surgery, pray for a doctor to have a steady hands

• Pray that the doctors and medical professionals listen to the patient

• Pray for the caregivers in my life that they have peace during an uncertain time

• Most Importantly: ASK THE PERSON WHAT TO PRAY FOR